Musings of a Mad Poet

Endings

2012-01-23T21:34:00.002-06:00

Hi! Rachel's mom here just to let you know that Rachel has decided not to update her blog any longer.

Those of you who are sad about this development can contact Rachel via email to let her know.

Beauty and the Beast

2011-01-16T14:02:00.002-06:00

As I mentioned in my last post-sorry, it's been awhile-I had a part in our school production of Beauty and the Beast Jr this semester. We had our last performance last night and it was absolutely an incredible experience. God taught me so much about Himself, myself, and my other co-stars during the past four months so I just thought I'd share some of those lessons with you.

There is a good reason hoopskirts are not still in style.

Guys who can dance are attractive.

When your friend is stressed, give her a hug and tell her you're praying for her.

If you have to carry four ten-foot poles across a college campus, wear gloves.

Fire escapes have many other uses besides emergency exits.

Power tools are not as difficult to use as they look.

The trees used to be alive. Don't talk to them.

If you want to feel amazingly talented for doing virtually nothing, work with high schoolers.

Lipstick is disgusting.

Never let anyone near a camera when you are wearing a wig. Especially if you're a guy.

Do not take sitting down for granted.

Kicklines are a lot less exciting when you must make them conservative.

When a guy comes in and asks for a manly lipstick, make as many awkward comments as possible.

Don't create choreography that draws attention to the fact that you are not supposed to be dancing.

Guys look really weird in tights.

Liquid nitrogen is awesome.

Being a freshman does not guarantee being Townsperson 3.

First impressions are often wrong.

Smile while it happens, because you'll cry once it's over.

Finally, my favorite:
"It's not stupid, it's stage!"

High School

2010-10-03T14:32:00.002-05:00

I have been in school for a month now. (UGH) I like high school so far-it's actually pretty fun. I'm in Beauty and the Beast, not as a townsperson or obscure fork, but Mrs. Potts, the teapot. (PARTY!!!) I was pretty much shocked to hear about it, but it's been fun so far. I am in percussion ensemble, which is really fun but kind of hard for someone of my limited coordination. Our JV volleyball team is undefeated. I am actually acing Algebra I. (For now) I have all three of my sections said for Bible Quiz. I have made new friends. I have completed Rumplestiltskin and am in the the last stages of revision. I have everything I need for our homecoming banquet.
In short, life is good.

Ode to Summer

2010-08-28T19:24:00.002-05:00

I start school on Monday. (Loud groaning noise in background) Yeah, I'm going to high school. No, I'm not nervous. I am looking forward to taking creative writing, being involved in the school play, Beauty and the Beast, seeing my friends every day, and playing volleyball.
It's the stuff in between I'm not looking forward to. Algebra 1, Physical Science, English (we're reading Great Expectations, yippee-doo), that stuff. And the getting up at six thirty is rather unappealing too. I value my sanity and sleep, and those are two things I will most definitely be lacking in once school really starts.
However, I have had a pretty eventful summer.
Highlights include but are not limited to:
-Visiting my cousins in Greenville-did you know that lightning bug guts glow in the dark???
-Going shopping with my friends. (You can fit four teenage girls on the Big Bird kiddie ride at the mall. It's just really uncomfortable.)
-Going to Mount Olympus with my friends and going down the insanely scary drop slide-FIVE SECONDS LONG!!! SO FREAKY!!!
-Working on my four writing projects. (3 Princess Tales, still not finished with Rumplestiltskin, ugh, as well as Shackles, my novel and pet project)
-Walking around town (mostly to the library)
-Which contributed to the 90+ books I have read since the beginning of summer.
-Spending 3 weeks in NY with my grandparents and seeing my cousins and going tubing and learning to ski. (Sort of. I'm not very good yet.)
-Getting a bloody nose on my final tube run as well as a swollen lip that earned me several stares and the nickname "Duck."
-Starting volleyball preseason (I have to get up for it now though and it's been seriously messing with my biological clock...can't sleep past 6:30 anymore...so sad.)

So, I guess that's about it. High school, here I come!!! (Ready or not. Preferably not.)

Taking a break

2010-07-26T10:45:00.001-05:00

Rachel is offline for the next couple of weeks while on vacation in upstate NY.
This post was not authorized by the Mad Poet.

Funny Cat Picture

2010-06-28T17:00:00.002-05:00

I do not understand this picture, but I still think it's hilarious.

Revision

2010-06-28T16:55:00.000-05:00

Revision, as I have learned, is the art of taking something that's already perfectly fine in the first place and completely destroying it in the hopes that doing so will somehow make it better.

For example:
As I have said about 15,000 times before, I am in the process of writing a series of fairy-tale stories. The first one was finished in November of 2008, and I just started my ninth. The problem is, however, that I went back and re-read the four original stories. And since then, all I've been doing is going back to rewrite those. I started my rewrite of Snow White this week. My original Snow White I did in about two weeks, and I wrote the whole ending in about five minutes.

Let's just say if I had to pick a "Worst Story I Have Ever Written", that would be it.

This week, I also finished my rough draft of Rumplestiltskin, which I started work on in November. (NOVEMBER!!! NOVEMBER!!! NOVEMBER!!!) Admittedly, there was an incident in which I accidentally deleted all nine pages of my original draft, and then I took about a two-month hiatus to finish Rapunzel, but still!!! I've been working on this one story for nearly six months, and I still have to go back and revise!!! What's worse, I don't even really even like this story!!!

So, hopefully, Rumplestiltskin will be ready for reading by the time I leave for vacation July 24th. And if not, well, maybe I should take up a new hobby. Like knitting.

For Those of You Who Love Writing

2010-06-19T21:50:00.004-05:00

I was going through my emails the other day when I found a website link that my mom had sent me. I decided to click on it.
The website link was to a site called "Fifteen Minutes of Fiction."
About an hour later, I had created a profile. This afternoon I spent about an hour and a half creating posts on said site. And now, I would like to post a link so that all my fellow logophiles can waste their time in a semi-creative manner.
If you'd like to look up what I've done on the site, my username is Ari James.
Enjoy!!!
Update: Sorry, the stupid thing won't let me post a link, so I'll do this the old fashioned way.
Go to your little browser thingie. Type in fifteenminutesoffiction.com. Be happy.

I Did the Stupidest Thing the Other Day

2010-06-19T21:42:00.003-05:00

As I've said in previous posts, I have problems with my life. Stuff just happens to me, stuff I can't explain. (Or, when I do explain it, gets me a lot of laughs and weird looks.)
Another one of those types of things happened to me the other day.
My brother needed new body wash. So we went to Walmart and got him some. When we got home and I went to put the body wash away, I decided I wanted to see what it smelled like.
Somehow (and I still haven't been able to figure out how) I managed to get the body wash up my nose, and then somehow it kind of got down into my mouth so I not only got to smell it; I got to taste it too!!!
The picture below has become my new life motto. Click on it, and you shall see why.

Splitting Hairs

2010-06-19T21:22:00.002-05:00

For almost my entire life, my hair has been short. No real reason; I was just lazy. Last year, I decided to grow my hair out. My friends and family had been pressuring me to do it, and I wanted to try something new, so I did.
90% of the time, it looked awful. I was in a play that year, and I couldn't cut my hair, even though I really wanted layers, so I ended up with a style that looked like I'd gotten up and gone to school without doing anything to my hair at all, even though I always washed and brushed and dried it before I left. After the play, I got layers, but my hair was still the same way: the ends flipped out and completely disguised all my layers, and I still hadn't figured out how to do things with it. (and it was barely long enough for me to put it in a ponytail)
Finally, last June, I snapped. I had just about had it with my stupid hair.
So I chopped it all off. Half an hour in the barber's chair, and I was left with a supershort pixie and the nagging thought, "What on earth did I just do to myself?"
And now, a year later, I can honestly say I don't regret going shorter. My pixie has grown out (obviously), and I've found a relatively low-maintenance style that really works for me.
Here are five reasons I love my short hair:

1. It's super easy to take care of; all I do to mine is mousse and dry and I'm done.
2. I have a smaller face, so short hair doesn't make my face look like it's being eaten alive.
3. I don't have all those long snarly hairs in my brush all the time.
4. It fits my personality better.
5. Have you ever tried to go through an 80 degree summer with long hair? Let me tell you, it's not fun.

My friends (same ones who told me to grow it out in the first place) think I should grow it back out. And who knows, maybe someday I will.
But for now, I think I'll enjoy my short hair.

Updates on Life

2010-06-05T19:51:00.006-05:00

Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted!!! Since my last update, I've graduated (with a 90% in math, might I add), gone on vacation, and had my high school interview. (We're doing Beauty and the Beast:The Musical for the play this year!!! I AM TOTALLY TRYING OUT!!!)
Here are a few pictures of what I've been doing lately. The first few are in Greenville, South Carolina. We went there to visit my mom's brother and his family. While there, we played with makeup-my aunt's got loads-dismembered a GI Joe and a Barbie car at the same time, watched The Lion King (I'd actually never seen it before then. But it's pretty good.), and had some family members there for Memorial Day. The next few (which are actually chronologically before the South Carolina ones but this method of uploading pictures has major issues) are in West Virginia, where we were visiting my mom's parents. We went on a sightseeing trip to Hawk's Nest State Park and Cathedral Falls, this really pretty waterfall about 35 minutes away from their house. We also went out on the Kanawha River, which is like five minutes away from my grandparents' house. It was kind of fun, even if the water did reek. The next three are from graduation.
Picture #1-My mom, cousins, aunt, great aunt, and me.
#2-My cousin and me being weird. We do that a lot.
#3-post-makeup application.
#4-My grandma and me!!!
#5-My brothers and me right before we went out on the river.
#6-Me at Cathedral Falls...I did have a picture of the whole thing but I can't find it and I'm too lazy to go through the whole thing again.
#7-This random pretty butterfly. I won't even tell you what it's resting on.
#8-Six of the original members of my kindergarten class (the 2 on the left just came for the graduation; they don't still go to my school) and our teacher.
#9-My 3 best friends ever and our 8th grade teacher and me.
#10-Me with my board. (And my dad's hand.)

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Graduation Approaches!!!

2010-05-01T15:39:00.004-05:00

I am graduating from 8th grade in 19 days!!! Hallelujah!!! Two weeks ago, our class went to high school for a day. I'm really looking forward to the Literature class, but DEFINITELY not Algebra 1.
I finally got my dress. :D My mom says I had better wear it for at least the next two years.
We've started working on a choir song for the graduation ceremony thingie. It's called "Always By Our Side" and it's really really really pretty. The lyrics are wonderful too.
But I still have a lot of stuff to do in preparation for graduation. I have to
-Pick out which jacket to wear with my dress. (Brown or pink???)
-Find a necklace to wear. (Which will involve going shopping. Again.)
-Purchase shoes. (I found a pair that might work...I think.)
-Do my graduation board. (Fun fun fun.)
-Take pictures for said board. (Which actually probably will be fun.)
-Decide what else I'm going to display along with my board. (Trophies, medals, ribbons, other random junk that has some obscure meaning to me.)
-Print out and file a bunch of poetry to put on my table thingie. (More revising-bleck.)
-Figure out what on earth to do with my hair. (I only have so many options here, people.)
And last, but not least-
-Pass Algebra 1/2. (I have actually managed to keep my grade in the 90s this year. Yay!!!)
Anyway, if I don't drop dead of exhaustion/embarrassment at my old pictures first, I'll post more later!!!

Libraries Are Wonderful

2010-05-01T15:20:00.002-05:00

I love libraries. I try to go to the library at least once a week. My printed list of what I have checked out is nearly as tall as me. I have three piles of library books stacked in my room. Just looking at them makes me happy. I've always loved books, even when I was little. I got my library card when I was about seven or eight. (It disappeared mysteriously and reappeared about 2 years later.)
Here are 7 reasons why I love libraries:
1. They're free!!! (Unless, of course, you forget to return stuff, in which case they can be quite expensive.)
2. If you don't like the book, you don't have to feel bad because you didn't spend any money on it.
3. Librarians. If you can't find something, chances are they can. Although I bet the ones at our library probably think I'm incredibly annoying because I'm always putting stuff on hold and asking to renew stuff and asking if they can give me a list of everything out on my card. But they're always sweet about it.
4. The gigantic beanbag chair by the teen section. It's so comfy, and you can fit like four or five people on it at once.
5. The silence. (Although that is rapidly disappearing.)
6. Where else can you go that has movies, reference books, fiction, and magazines all in the same place??? Not even Barnes&Noble has movies!!!
7. BOOKS!!! BOOKS!!! MORE BOOKS!!! BOOKS AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE!!! BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS!!!
And yes, I am a spaz.
I like to blame it on all the reading.

Ode to the Cookies

2010-04-11T16:15:00.002-05:00

I went to a Swim&Gym youth activity at our church last night. 41 kids from our youth group loaded up onto the bus to go down to the place where the pool and gym were, in a town about 45 minutes away. As we were going down the highway, we stopped at the railroad tracks and opened the bus doors like you're supposed to. (I still don't know why) By some strange act of inertia, the cookies the youth leaders had brought tumbled down the stairs and out the door. Everyone just kind of stared for a few seconds, until our youth pastor stood and said, "All right, now let's all come up with an ode to the cookies."
Never one to turn down a challenge to write, I whipped out a pen and a piece of paper, and in five minutes I had scrawled these words(My handwriting is normally messy, but when I write on a bus, it's completely illegible):

Ode to the Cookies

The cookies are gone.
The cookies have died.
The whole youth group could drink
Of the tears we have cried.

The cookies are gone.
The cookies are dead.
I'll have nightmares of this
When I go to bed.

The cookies are gone,
Gone to heaven's bright shores.
We have lost these dear cookies.
Thank goodness there's more.

Then, another girl on the bus rapped it, which was completely hilarious to listen to and watch. On the way back, we saw the little cookie tray on the side of the road. Hope the animals will enjoy the cookies in our stead!!!

I Have Problems With My Life

2010-04-04T14:36:00.004-05:00

Those of you who know me know how klutzy I am. I have an unusual talent for doing stupid stuff, such as shutting my own head in a door (if you don't know, don't ask) and giving myself a papercut on my own binder, and a lot of other stuff like that.

Like last Thursday. Our class went outside to have an Easter egg hunt. There was gum inside some of the eggs, and our teacher told us we were allowed to chew it. I found an egg with gum inside, so naturally, I starting chewing it and blowing bubbles and stuff.

Unfortunately for me, it was very windy that day, and, when I blew a bubble, the wind blew my hair into it, coating the tips of my hair on both sides.

I spent the rest of my recess (by then we'd found all the eggs) trying to get the gum out of my hair. When we got inside, I headed straight for the bathroom, got some soap and water, and worked some more on my hair. I'd gotten a bit of the gum out, but not very much. AND I was going to a friend's house that night, so I couldn't go home and shampoo it or anything AND I had to go to my older brother's concert that night. So there I was, with wet, gummy hair, contemplating the rest of my options. I went to one of my friends and asked her what she thought I should do. She came to the conclusion that if it didn't wash out, I'd have to cut it out. I asked her if trying to brush it out would work, but she advised me not to, saying it would mess up the brush.

So, school ended, and I went home with my friend and into the bathroom. My friend's mom had read somewhere that ice was really good for getting gum out of things, so I grabbed a couple of ice cubes. Despite the advice I'd been given, I really didn't want to have to wash my hair or cut it, so we decided to use the brush and hope for the best.

A few minutes and several yowls of pain later, the gum was out of my hair, leaving me with wet strands of hair and another pathetically funny story to tell.

Rumplestiltskin

2010-03-26T14:37:00.003-05:00

The next Princess Tale is in the works!!! Rumplestiltskin, based on one of the Grimm Brothers' many fairy tales, centers on Gilda Aurelius, a shopkeeper's daughter, and a mysterious little man named Jack. I am going to try to have it finished by the end of April, but it may take longer than that. Here's an excerpt from Rumplestiltskin.

I slid off the stool and onto the floor. I'd been working for what felt like forever, and I'd made no progress at all. "This is impossible," I complained to the empty room. "No one can spin straw into gold."

"No one, says you?"

I jerked my head around. There, leaning casually against the wall, was a tiny man of some sort. Had he been standing next to me, I doubted he'd have come any higher than my waist. He had flame-red hair, and wore an elegantly tailored emerald green suit and top hat that matched his mischievously sparkling eyes perfectly.

"Who are you?" I shrieked.

He swept his top hat off and bowed extravagantly. "Jack Ryker, at your service. And you?"

"Gilda Aurelius," I told him...

"Well, Miss Aurelius, what was it you were saying about spinning straw into gold being impossible?" Jack asked.

"It is impossible!" I said. "I've been trying for the past three hours!"

"Nonsense!" Jack said. "You've just been using the wrong method, that's all." He grabbed a hank of hay, sauntered up to the spinning wheel, and sat down on the now-vacated stool. "Now," he said, "watch and learn." He did the same thing I had, but the strands that now twisted around the spool were made of solid gold.

Shopping: A Curse and a Blessing

2010-03-20T19:57:00.003-05:00

Like most members of the female sex, I enjoy shopping. I love just taking a whole afternoon and going out with my mom to browse racks and try on clothes and have a lot of fun spending money and cooing over cute clothes and making fun of ugly ones. And then we go out for fast food afterwards (usually Arby's) and have shakes and share fries and tell dorky stories about what happened at school. Then we go home, listening to a Disney CD and singing along occasionally. (Well, mostly my mom.)

I also hate shopping though. The store never has my size. The size I'm supposed to be isn't what I can fit in. The thing I really like is expensive. I can't find what I'm looking for. My mom thinks a completely hideous outfit is "adorable." The salespeople mob me, smiling plastically and asking if I'm looking for anything, to which I always reply with a slightly annoyed, "Just looking, thank you." If I actually need a salesperson, one will never be around. While I show Mom how a shirt fits, someone will steal my dressing room, with my purse and street clothes still in it. My hair will get messed up. I'll never find what I'm looking for.

Case in Point: Last Friday, Mom and I went shopping for a shirt for me to wear to our fine arts meet we had yesterday and a dress for me to wear for graduation, as the black dress in the picture on my blog needs a jacket and since it's vintage we're having a hard time finding a wrap to go with it. (And it's ripped.)

I was very excited, because one of my best friends had told me she'd found her graduation dress at Dress Barn (why they named it that I will never understand; who wants to go shopping for a formal dress in a place with a name evocative of cows?) and they had just restocked the day before and they had some great stuff.

So we went, leaving right after school. We hit Dress Barn, where I tried on a cute sheath the color of a mushroom. (Nixed: sheaths aren't supposed to be worn with a jacket, and it didn't look that great on me anyway.) Mom found a completely adorable brown dress on the clearance rack. (Also nixed: while it was exceptionally cute and a gorgeous brown color and great fabric and a cool hem, it had a VERY low back.) I tried on a fancy red velvet shirt. (Rejected: too tight and it shed sparkles all over my black pants.) A white ruffly blouse. (Denied: I came out to show Mom and she started laughing hysterically; I still don't know why.) The rest of the dresses were weird colors, or not checkable, or in ridiculously large sizes, so we left.

Then, after dinner, we went to Kohl's. I tried on clothes for forty-five minutes. I tried on a cute brown sundress that I just ADORED. It was even on sale!!! But it was a few inches too short, and my mom's sharp eyes found poorly-done seams, so back to the rack it went. Blouse after blouse was rejected: too tight, too loose, too low, unflattering, weirdly colored. FINALLY, I found a black shirt that would work for the fine arts meet. It was on sale, so we bought it for a reasonably good price and left at around nine.

I'm still looking for that graduation dress. If you have any places to recommend where I could find a stylish, modest dress, I'd appreciate if you'd leave it in the comments.

I Love Weather!!! (Hehe, not.)

2010-03-20T18:41:00.002-05:00

In about March, the weather around here starts getting exceptionally weird. Sometimes it's amazingly awesome and summery, sometimes it feels like the middle of January, and yet other times it's rainy and wet.

We have had all three this week. On Monday, all our snow started melting; by Wednesday, it was all gone. It was so nice out. I wore shorts and a t-shirt and felt completely awesome.

And then I heard there was supposed to be snow Friday. I laughed.

Friday dawned nice and sunny. By about seven, it was raining; sometime around nine, it started snowing, and when I woke up this morning, we had about an inch or two of snow.

It's mostly gone now; my little brother went outside and played in our yard, serving the dual purpose of getting rid of the snow and ruining the view at the same time.

What will the weather be like next week when I'm on spring break??? Stay tuned...

Love Quotes

2010-02-13T21:29:00.003-06:00

More quotes!!!

People who are sensible about love are incapable of it.-Douglas Yates

Forget love-I'd rather fall in chocolate!-Sandra J. Dykes

A baby is born with a need to be loved and never outgrows it.-Frank A. Clark

You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.-Dr. Seuss

Love is a game two people can play and both win.-Eva Gabor

You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.-Unknown

If love is the answer, then can you repeat the question?-Unknown

Love is being stupid together.-Paul Valery

At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.-Plato

It's so easy to fall in love but hard to find someone who will catch you.-Unknown

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in tinfoil.-Unknown

Love isn't blind, it's retarded.-Don Foster

Romance is dead-it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.-Lisa Simpson

Love is like war-easy to begin, hard to end.-Proverb

And then there's my favorite...

Love is a snowmobile, racing across the tundra, and then suddenly flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.-Matt Groening

I don't know why I love that one so much...maybe it's the ice weasels.

Valentine's Day

2010-02-13T20:55:00.005-06:00

Valentine's Day has rolled around once again. It's a pretty pointless holiday if you ask me...another way for Hallmark and jewelers to make money.

But I did find the time to make a few valentines for my friends and teacher, which I will now post pictures of.

Anyway...I hope you have a great Valentine's Day, whatever you end up doing. :)

Read Books!!!

2010-01-22T20:16:00.003-06:00

If you're a young-adult fiction consumer like me, you've probably already realized that not all of the books floating around your local Barnes&Noble are quality literature. Here's a guide, compiled by me, to help you in your search for good books.

Books:
Pictures of Hollis Woods, Patricia Reilly Giff. This might make you cry...I'm not sure.
Scarlett and Indigo Blue, Cathy Cassidy. Bonus: British people.
Holes, Louis Sachar. This is an amazing book and the movie adaptation is also good.
Airman, Eoin Colfer. Adventure, romance, wit-this book has it all!!!
Wildwood Dancing and Cybele's Secret, Juliet Marillier. LOVE THESE!!!
Princess Nevermore, Dian Curtis Regan. Don't bother reading the sequel.
The Teashop Girls, Laura Schaffer. Bonus: tea-related quotes at the start of every chapter.
Mable Riley: A Reliable Record of Humdrum, Peril, and Romance, Marthe Jocelyn. Bonus: funny poetry.
Daughters of the Sea: Hannah, Kathryn Lasky. This book about a girl who turns into a mermaid manages to be interesting and well-written without being like a bad Barbie movie.
Love Among the Walnuts, Jean Ferris. I know it sounds weird, but trust me, it's a great book. (She also wrote Once Upon a Marigold and Twice Upon a Marigold. While you're at it, read them too.)
Undercover, Beth Kepler. Bonus: amazing words for all you logophiles.
Princess Ben, Catherine Gilbert Murdock. Princess learns magic, and falls in love with a prince in the process.
Authors:
Lisa Klein. Writes historical fiction and retellings of classic Shakespearean plays. (Ophelia, Two Girls of Gettysburg, Lady Macbeth's Daughter.)
Scott Westerfield. Writes gripping, creative sci-fi. (Uglies, Pretties, Specials.) Bonus: his wife is also a writer.
Ted Dekker. One of the most amazing thriller-writers ever. (Circle Series, Blink, Obsessed, Bone Man's Daughters, the list goes on and on and on.)
Gail Carson Levine. Retellings of classic fairy tales. She is my hero. (Ella Enchanted, Fairest, Ever, The Two Princesses of Bamarre, and, for those of you who are aspiring writers, Writing Magic. I swear by that book.)
Shannon Hale. Princess fiction. (Princess Academy, Books of Bayern, Book of a Thousand Days.)
Jessica Day-George. Really good fantasy fiction. (Sun and Moon, Ice and Snow, Princess of the Midnight Ball, Dragon Slippers, Dragon Flight, Dragon Spear.)
Margaret Peterson Haddix. Thrillers. Princesses. Historical fiction. She does it all, and it's all good. (Escape from Memory, Shadow Children series, Just Ella, Uprising, Double Identity, Leaving Fishers, and more.)
N. e. Bode. She writes like Lemony Snicket. Therefore, I love her. (The Anybodies, The Nobodies, The Somebodies.)
Jeanne Birdsall. Four sisters, a dog, and a Latin-loving dad. (The Penderwicks, The Penderwicks on Gardam Street.)
Andrew Clements. School stories featuring precocious students and the teachers who push them to succeed. (The Landry News, Extra Credit, A Week in the Woods, Frindle, Lunch Money, Lost and Found, The Janitor's Boy, and more books that I can't remember right now.)
Frewin Jones. Fairy fiction that seamlessly blends our world and theirs, with minimal bad Barbie movie associations. (The Faerie Path, The Lost Queen, The Sorcerer King.)
Series:
Secret Series, Pseudonymous Bosch. It's a five book series, but so far only three are out. (The Name of This Book is Secret, If You're Reading This, It's Too Late, This Book is Not Good For You. I'm doing the second one for my book report.)
Artemis Fowl series, Eoin Colfer. Fairies, technology, a teenaged crime lord, and some majorly cool bodyguards. (Artemis Fowl, The Arctic Incident, The Eternity Code, The Opal Deception, The Lost Colony, the Time Paradox.)
Series of Unfortunate Events, Lemony Snicket. These books are hilarious in a depressing way. I'm not going to list them all because there are thirteen. But the first one is The Bad Beginning.)
Sierra Jenson series, Robin Jones Gunn. Christian fiction featuring a spunky teen and her relationships with God, her family, her friends, and a mysterious young man name Paul Mackenzie. (There are four volumes, twelve books in all.)
The Looking Glass Wars series, Frank Beddor. Alice in Wonderland meets Call of Duty. (The Looking Glass Wars, Seeing Redd, ArchEnemy.)
Peter and the Starcatchers series, Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson. A prequel to Peter Pan. Written by Dave Barry. How awesome can you get??? (Peter and the Starcatchers, Peter and the Shadow Thieves, Peter and the Secret of Rundoon, Peter and the Sword of Mercy.)
The Sisters Grimm series, Michael Buckley. Guess what??? The Brothers Grimm weren't just fairy-tale writers. They were historians. (There are going to be 9 books, and so far there are seven. First one is The Fairy Tale Detectives.)
So, I hope that this is helpful. Happy reading!!!

A New Year

2010-01-01T18:09:00.002-06:00

It's 2010! I can't believe I'm writing that. It seems like yesterday it was 2005 and now we're in a new decade.

I don't do New Year's Resolutions; instead, I do reviews of the past year. So here's 2009 in review.

Ten Awesome Things That Happened in 2009

1. Our WACS tournament went well and my quartet got first in state for small vocal ensemble.

2. Our out-west vacation in June.

3. I started 8th grade. (Not awesome that I'm in school, but awesome that I'll be in high school next year.

4. I got contacts.

5. We got our living room remodeled and it looks amazing.

6. I went to volleyball camp with one of my best friends and had a great time.

7. We got a Mac computer which I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!

8. Being in The Music Man with one of my best friends.

9. I traded my boring long hair for a cute pixie. (And I don't think I'm going to grow it back out.)

10. Going laser tagging with our youth group.

Have a great 2010!

Luck and Losing Things

2010-01-01T17:45:00.003-06:00

I am one of those people who loses things a lot, particularly jewelry. I have lost innumerable earrings, several necklaces (all ones I really liked), and parts of jewelry (stones, earring backs, etc.). And, until recently, everything I lost was never seen again, at least by me.

My mom gave me a pair of turquoise earrings this summer. They had been a present to her, but she'd never worn them, so she decided to let me have them. A few weeks after I received the earrings, we went to Colorado, where I was given a turquoise necklace and a turquoise ring. Then, for Christmas, I got a turquoise necklace, bracelet, and another pair of earrings from my parents.

The first piece of turquoise jewelry I lost was my ring, which was an early birthday present from my great-aunt. I took it off in the school bathroom one morning to wash my hands, and, when I got home that night, I realized that I wasn't wearing my ring.

I looked everywhere for it. When I couldn't find it in my house, I decided that I must have left it at school. Since it was the weekend, however, I couldn't get it until Monday. By that point, I was freaking out because I thought that the ring might have been lost or stolen or mangled or something equally horrible. (Okay, so I was overreacting.) However, when I got to school that Monday and went to the office and asked if a ring had been found, there it was. So, I still have my ring and have learned not to take a ring off in a public bathroom.

The second piece I lost was the bracelet. I have really small wrists, and it's really hard to find any bracelets that fit me. We were at Walmart, and I turned to go to the bathroom. Unnoticed by me, the bracelet slipped off my wrist. Luckily, my little brother saw it and told me. I picked it up and put it in my purse, and I am going to see if I can shorten the chain any so I don't lose it for good next time.

The same night I lost the bracelet, I got home and was taking off my jewelry when I realized that one of my earrings (my favorite pair and the one from my mom) was missing. I completely freaked out. I searched my entire house, the ground outside my house, and my purse thoroughly, but didn't find it. I was almost at the point of calling Walmart and asking them if they'd found a turquoise earring until my mom suggested that I check our van. And, there it was, lying on the floor, unharmed.

Lucky me.

The Princess Tales

2009-12-29T14:35:00.003-06:00

To my esteemed readers,

As many of you know, for the past year, I have been working on re-tellings of several classic fairy tales. I had originally planned on doing only five: Cinderella, Rapunzel, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and The Princess and the Pea.

About half-way through The Princess and the Pea, however, I realized that I didn't want to quit doing The Princess Tales. So I decided to do three more and split the eight I had into two volumes: Once Upon a Time, and Not So Happily Ever After. Then I got even more ideas and decided to to a third volume, entitled Damsels of Distress. (It was originally going to be Damsels in Distress, but I prefer the new title.)

But I still wasn't finished. However, I wasn't sure which fairy tales to do. I didn't want to pick obscure ones, but I thought I had pretty much covered the more well-known ones. So, I picked up a few fairy tale collections and started paging through. The ones I thought were the best choices I put up as a poll on my blog, and several of you voted for the ones you wanted to see re-written.

So, I am pleased to announce that there will be a fourth volume of Princess Tales, containing the following fairy tales.

The Little Mermaid

Thumbelina

Snow White and Rose Red

The Wild Swans

The new volume will be entitled Knights in Shining Armor.

I am not entirely sure if this will be the last Princess Tales volume. If I find more new fairy tales or come up with new ideas of my own, then there might be. If you have any suggestions for new Princess Tales, feel free to comment and leave ideas. Thank you for all of you who voted on the poll.

In Fervent Hope of Personal Sanity,

R.e. Mayes

Christmas Break

2009-12-29T13:33:00.004-06:00

I'm currently on Christmas break. I haven't done a whole lot, but I have done some.

I started out my break going to a surprise birthday party for a friend of mine. We stayed up until almost 4 in the morning watching Beauty and the Beast.

A few days later, I went to my friend's early birthday party. Just for kicks, we did goth-girl makeovers and made grilled cheese sandwiches at 2 in the morning. We also went sledding. My second time down the hill I ran into a fence and hurt my backside. Ouch.

On Christmas Eve, we finally had a living room to put our tree up in, so we put it up and went to the Christmas Eve service at church, despite rain. (Yes, we did have rain on Christmas Eve. Which was lame.)

We also had rain on Christmas as well, although that turned into snow in time for us to watch White Christmas later that night. (Which is good, because watching White Christmas when it's not snowing is even lamer than rain on Christmas Eve.)

My grandparents came the day after Christmas, and my mom and my grandma and I went shopping yesterday. Needless to say, we did a considerable bit of economic stimulation. :)

On Thursday night, I'll be going to the annual youth group all-nighter, which will include laser tagging, Wii tournaments, and possibly sledding.
I'll try to put pictures on when I can figure out how to.

Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T18:27:00.002-06:00

Thanksgiving always gets a little overlooked, in my opinion. It's right in between Halloween and Christmas, and it has no distinctive music or decor (except maybe cornucopias). And, when most people do think about Thanksgiving, it's usually about turkey, pumpkin pie, or football, if you're a guy, when, in actuality, Thanksgiving is, as its name suggests, a time to give thanks.
Here are a few things I'm thankful for.

1. Salvation
2. A loving family
3. A house (not much of one right now, thanks to our renovations)
4. Good health
5. Strange but wonderful friends
6. Teachers who actually care about their students (or are very good at faking it) :)
7. God's sovereignty
8. Fuzzy socks
9. Books
10. Ice cream!

More Quotes

2009-11-15T15:02:00.002-06:00

Here's another round of quotes.

Never tell me the odds.-Han Solo
Not all who wander are lost.-J.R.R Tolkien
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.-Jerry Seinfeld
Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.-Mark Knopfler
Wherever you are, be all there.-Jim Elliot
Death is the surest solution to all problems-no man, no problem.-Joseph Stalin
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.-Calvin
Say something wise and philosophical and your name will be remembered forever.-Unknown
I don't want to be alone, I want to be left alone.-Audrey Hepburn
Don't burden yourself with the secrets of scary people.-This guy in a Batman movie
It's innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn't.-Mignon McLaughlin

If you find any funny/profound quotes, send them to me.

Book Reports

2009-10-18T14:42:00.004-05:00

Once again, I am being forced to write a book report for school. Two things wrong with that.
1. I not only have to find a book that's decent enough to do a book report on, but I also have to find one that I've never read before.
2. When I do manage to find a book, I will have to read it and then give an unbiased report on it.

Both of which will be difficult to achieve. First off, it's pretty much an extreme sport to actually FIND a decent piece of young adult literature, and then to get it approved should probably become a part of the Olympics.
The reading itself, while normally (for me) is simple, is usually complicated when, halfway through the book, I realize that I really, really, really hate the book. And it's not very easy to write a good book report encouraging fellow students to read the book to find out what happens next if you yourself did not actually care what happened next when you read it.
And slamming the book isn't really an option either, because teachers don't let you say what you actually thought about the book, unless you loved it. Which (in my experience) doesn't happen often.
So, if any of you have any good ideas for future book report books that won't put me to sleep but will be deemed appropriate, I'd like to hear them. Really.

The Frog Prince

2009-10-03T18:54:00.002-05:00

Well, I've begun work on my sixth Princess Tale: The Frog Prince. Princess Arabella is an animal-loving, free-spirited girl whose parents suddenly arrange a marriage with Prince Alfonso, one of the sons of the ruler of a bordering country. Here's an excerpt from the story when she first meets Alfonso.

Beyond this door was the man who, whether I liked it or not, was going to be my husband. The man who was going to rule my country. The man whose face I would wake up to for the rest of my life. The man who was going to-gulp-father my children.
I took a deep breath, wishing that my maid hadn't tightened my corset so much, and turned the knob. Then I stepped through the doorway.
And that's when I first saw him. He was hideous. His hair was pale reddish-blonde, and he had luminescent green eyes that were so big that they made him look like a disturbed frog. His nose (also too large) was bright pink, and his gangly limbs looked too big for his body.
The fragile soap bubble of hope I'd had burst. There was no way in the whole world I would ever be able to marry him. Ever.

Back to School

2009-08-30T14:40:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is our first day of school. Here's a poem on "Back to School." Which is entirely true. (Not that I engage in any such behavior as described, of course.)

Back to School

Nobody's paying attention.
None of the homework's been done.
The teacher's exhausted and wondering
How she'll cope until recess at one.

We're napping on piles of our notebooks,
Paper airplanes and spitballs are flying.
No one remembers their grammar,
And the teacher groans like she's dying.

The boys are all running 'round rampant.
They're breaking every school rule.
Have we made it clear enough yet
That we don't want to come back to school?
-R.e. Mayes

Letter to Daddy

2009-08-15T20:59:00.000-05:00

Letter to Daddy

Dear Daddy,
Daddy, I'm sorry.
You taught me to do right.
You told me, "Never drink and drive."
But I did just that last night.

Daddy, I'm really sorry.
I partied and got high.
I know, I know I should have refused
When my friends asked me to drive.

I'm so, so sorry, Daddy.
I thought it was all just a game.
And, playing it, I crashed the car,
And I'll take all the blame.

I'm really sorry, Daddy,
Please forgive my dumb mistake.
It's all my fault, I know that.
I caused all your heartbreak.

I've learned my lesson, Daddy:
Don't EVER drink and drive.
Maybe if I'd listened
I might still be alive.
--R.e. Mayes

Don't worry, this isn't autobiograpical.

P.s. Yes, you can cry.

August: A Blessing, or a Curse?

2009-08-09T20:33:00.003-05:00

It's August. I've always liked August: my birthday's in August, it's when the weather is hottest (which means trips to the pool-always fun), and we're usually on vacation the first few weeks of August. (Also always fun.) But it's also bad, in a way, because school starts (not fun.) :p And, after vacation, there's not a whole lot to do. Here's a poem about summer.

The end of homework and of school.
The beginning of family trips to the pool.
No more boring old school days.
Instead, I sit around and laze.
But...
My friends are gone on different trips.
My melting ice cream drips and drips.
The only thing to do at home
Is sleep, or maybe write a poem.

--R.e. Mayes

P.S. Does anyone else out there have an August 22 birthday???

Pictures from vacation out west

2009-06-23T19:09:00.014-05:00

The sunset on the way to CO

Pike's Peak, as viewed from the road

Somewhere over the rainbow...

(Come on, sing with me!)

Our family reunion

Pretty waterfall...

Me standing by the "America the Beautiful" monument at the summit of Pike's Peak

Me, my brothers, and the donuts

The Pike's Peak Weather Station

The view from the summit

The road for the people who like having REALLY high blood pressure

One of the Cog trains.

A tree on the side of Pike's Peak

Journey to the West

2009-06-11T19:29:00.002-05:00

I recently returned from a trip out in Colorado. I do have pictures, which I will post as soon as I can figure out how to. Here is what we did.
5/30-Traveled to Colorado. As we were getting in to the state, it started to rain, and we saw a rainbow-the whole thing. Got to my great-aunt's condo at around 9:10 pm Mountain time.
5/31-Went to see my great grandma and great-great aunt.
6/1-Went to Heritage Square, an amusement park. It rained in the morning, but it was clear enough in the afternoon for us to go down the Alpine Slide, this huge slide that goes down a mountain, which was very fun. (My mom and great-aunt elected to stay at the bottom.)
6/2-Went to the Denver Mall, which is huge. And awesome. Very awesome.
6/3-Went to Pike's Peak and the Garden of the Gods. The Garden of the Gods is a park with these huge red sandstone formations. Unfortunately, it was foggy and rainy, so it was kind of hard to see some of the stuff. But what we were able to see was cool. Then, after lunch, we went to the Cog Railway so we could go up the peak. We rode the train up the mountain, and about halfway there, we broke through the clouds and saw the sun. At the top of the mountain, it was about 30 degrees and I was standing in knee-deep snow. We got doughnuts and, after eating about two of them (they were sooo good), I went outside to stand in the snow again and get pictures done. After going all the way back down the mountain, we went back to the place where we'd eaten lunch, and my great-aunt got me a turquoise ring as an early birthday present.
6/4-Did laundry and played Mexican Train Dominos, which is really fun. I even won a few times!
6/5-Went to the Denver Mint and the 16th Street Mall. The mint was interesting. Random Fact: The heads side of a penny is actually called the obverse side and the tails side is the reverse side. Who knew? Then, we had cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory, and went to a Barnes&Noble. Unfortunately, we did not stay as long as I would have liked to (the whole rest of the day).
6/6-A whole bunch of our relatives came and we had a huge party. We went to the pool for about three hours, and I got sunburned, prompting the nickname "Rudolph Jr." (My older brother was Rudolph.)
6/7-We went out for a Chinese lunch and said good-bye to my great uncle before he left for the airport. His flight, however, was delayed by hail and severe weather. We had to go down to the basement because there were tornados in the area. No complaints, though-there was a TV down in the basement. :)
6/8-We traveled back home to WI, stopping overnight in Iowa at a very nice hotel.
6/9-We got home at about 4 in the afternoon and started work on laundry. :p

The End of School

2009-05-22T19:12:00.003-05:00

Today was the last day of school for us. Here are two poems, one older and one newer, on the end of school.

Doodles on my Desk

Today's the final day of school,
And I am glad to go.
My head's chock-full of learning,
And other things I'll have to know.

I'm scrubbing at my desk lid.
It's graffitied and tattooed.
My masterpiece is fading.
How could my teacher be so rude?

There are flowers, signatures,
The names of ex-boyfriends.
But all must blur and be erased
At the school year's end.

The smileys, hearts, and pictures
Are now left to history.
No one else will see them now.
Not my teachers, friends, or me.

I scrub the last of them away.
My perfect, perfect art.
And yet, my legacy lives on
Graffitied on my heart.

Cleaning Out My Desk

Once again, it's time
For us to clean out our desks.
I'll need a hacksaw, a torch, and a map.
(A desk's bowels are rather grotesque.)

I open the lid. It's dark inside.
I start work on my pencil tray.
I find lead, erasers, and notes,
And candy that's seen better days.

I dump the whole lot in my backpack.
Then I pull out textbooks and trash.
I find an overdue library book
And thirteen bucks-all in cash!

Drawings of much despised teachers,
Colored pencils, pens, and more books.
The pile grows taller than I am,
And my classmates crowd 'round for a look.

At the very, very bottom,
There's old homework, a magnet, a comb.
I'm done, but I have a new problem:
How do I get this stuff home?

--R.e. Mayes

Note: My desk is not a virtual bio hazard, and I do not draw on my desk top.

Quotes

2009-05-08T17:30:00.003-05:00

I have a thing for cool/funny quotes. Here are a few I've collected.
When in doubt, look intelligent.-some guy whose name I do not remember
Do, or do not! There is no try!-Yoda
When one does not know what to say, it is best to be silent.-The King of Siam
It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.-some guy
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.-Miss Piggy
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence you've ever tried.-Phoebe McKeeby
One who looks for a friend without faults will have none.-old proverb
If you want to be a genius, you've got to read books and the newspaper.-Kevin Mayes
It is better that people think you are stupid than for you to open your mouth and let them know for sure.-Ben Franklin
Shall I describe it to you, or would you like me to find you a box?-Legolaus
Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?-Gimli the dwarf

Anyway, these are just a few. If I think of more I'll put them on later.

May

2009-05-03T14:29:00.002-05:00

It's finally May! We can now go outside without huge coats, and spring has finally arrived in Wisconsin. Here is an acrostic (poem that spells a word vertically) on spring.

Sidewalk chalk
Peony bushes bloom
Relaxation
Irises
Nice weather
Golden dandilions

Have a great spring!

The Empty Tomb

2009-04-12T14:59:00.002-05:00

In secret, Sunday morning,
Three mourners, women, came
With spices to anoint the body
Of a man, Jesus by name.

The heavy stone before the door
Was already rolled away.
A man sat upon the stone
That guarded the place where Jesus lay.

"Why seek ye the living
"Among these silent dead?
"He is no longer here!
"He has risen!" the man said.

The women recalled their Savior's words
And ran to spread the word.
They told his other followers
About what had occurred.

And though 2000 years have passed,
Death still holds no fear
For the world changed with those four words
"He is not here!"

Hallelujah, He is risen!

Ari

2009-04-04T10:37:00.003-05:00

I am living proof that Murphy's Law exists. Anything that can happen will happen and it will happen to me.
-Ari Lucas
I have finally started work on my novel! It is based on my life as a junior higher. (Oh, and I am basing the characters on real people, so watch out!) Anyway, here is an excerpt from the novel.
"What are you ladies doing in here?" said a nasal voice behind us.
Lizzi and I whipped around. There, her salt-and-pepper bun nearly brushing the door frame, was the tallest, most evil-looking woman I'd seen in my life. She wore a black skirt and matching jacket, and had black lace-up granny boots. A pair of teeny spectacles perched on the end of her long, pointy nose, which was scrunched up to keep her glasses on.
"Who are you?" I blurted.
She sniffed. "I am Miss Frances Stein. I will be teaching you this year."...
About three minutes until the bell rang, Anna came in. "Hi, Anna," Leah said.
"Where's the teacher?" Anna asked. Then, as if to answer her question, Miss Stein walked in. Anna's backpack clunked to the floor.
I smiled in a strained, fake way and said, "Yep."...
"I am totally going to fail eigth grade," Anna said.

a brief hiatus

2009-03-11T21:49:00.002-05:00

the Mad Poet is taking a brief hiatus
not by her own free choice

she will return when the math grade goes up

enjoy the silence meanwhile

--Mad Poet's Mean Mom

The Dessert

2009-02-22T15:21:00.001-06:00

It's sweet and fluffy, rich and tall.
This fine dessert can cream them all.
It's only seven layers high,
This chocolate peanut butter pie.

The whipped cream makes a mound on top.
Once you start, you'll never stop.
Chocolate columns, peanut piles,
This perfect pie is simply wild.

I take a large decadent bite,
But the end of my slice is nowhere in sight.
I drop my fork and start to sigh.
I've been whipped by a small slice of pie.

If you're not drooling, then there's something wrong with you.

25 Random Things that Make Me the Strange Person I am

2009-02-14T15:51:00.004-06:00

1. I love high-heeled boots. Or any kind of boots.
2. My friends think that looking something up in the dictionary is asking me what a word means.
3. I have 526 songs on my MP3 player.
4. I have never been in a wedding.
5. I have roasted and eaten roasted Cheetos. (and they're really really good.)
6. I am the worst seam ripper in the history of sewing.
7. I once wore a dress made out of a tablecloth (not out in public, of course.)
8. I have a pair of penguin earrings.
9. I want a huge pair of hoop earrings.
10. My favorite Wii sport is bowling.
11. I love popping bubble wrap.
12. I don't think museums are boring.
13. I have a shoebox filled with manuscripts and my pre-author stage writings. (I really need a bigger shoebox.)
14. I like multiplying and dividing with fractions.
15. I have broken or lost three necklaces at school. (all ones I really liked, too.)
16. I am currently growing my hair out.
17. I sometimes base my book characters on real people.
18.We used to have fish. Most of them died about a month after we got them.
19. If I try really hard, I can sing like Christine from The Phantom of the Opera. (sort of.)
20. I have a huge stuffed tiger in my room.
21. I like stamping with my mom.
22. I collect business cards, quotes, and cool pens.
23. I have a Lego guy named Leroy.
24. I read the newspaper after school.
25. I want to go white-water rafting, scuba-diving, and rapelling someday.

2009-02-07T17:40:00.002-06:00

Shadows of a Playhouse
In the backstage catacombs
Where children used to play,
I now see only shadows
Left from yesterday.
Where once a ragged urchin sat,
There’s just a plain old wall.
And where a someday author wrote,
There’s nothing there at all.
Where sparkles used to linger,
Now there’s naught but dirt.
I think of happy, gone-on days
And my heart begins to hurt.
Where we smiled and practiced lines
There’s shadows, nothing more--
Shadows of students and children,
Shadows of props on the floor.
We thought we were inseparable,
But good things rarely last.
Once life was a fairy tale,
But our glory days are past.
--R. E. Mayes
Feb. 2009

This poem is about my experience as Want, the street urchin in A Christmas Carol at Maranatha. After you've taken your final bow, the cast still remembers each other, still might keep in touch, but when you go back and see how much has changed, it can really be depressing.