The Princess Tales

To my esteemed readers,

As many of you know, for the past year, I have been working on re-tellings of several classic fairy tales. I had originally planned on doing only five: Cinderella, Rapunzel, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and The Princess and the Pea.

About half-way through The Princess and the Pea, however, I realized that I didn't want to quit doing The Princess Tales. So I decided to do three more and split the eight I had into two volumes: Once Upon a Time, and Not So Happily Ever After. Then I got even more ideas and decided to to a third volume, entitled Damsels of Distress. (It was originally going to be Damsels in Distress, but I prefer the new title.)

But I still wasn't finished. However, I wasn't sure which fairy tales to do. I didn't want to pick obscure ones, but I thought I had pretty much covered the more well-known ones. So, I picked up a few fairy tale collections and started paging through. The ones I thought were the best choices I put up as a poll on my blog, and several of you voted for the ones you wanted to see re-written.

So, I am pleased to announce that there will be a fourth volume of Princess Tales, containing the following fairy tales.

The Little Mermaid

Thumbelina

Snow White and Rose Red

The Wild Swans

The new volume will be entitled Knights in Shining Armor.

I am not entirely sure if this will be the last Princess Tales volume. If I find more new fairy tales or come up with new ideas of my own, then there might be. If you have any suggestions for new Princess Tales, feel free to comment and leave ideas. Thank you for all of you who voted on the poll.

In Fervent Hope of Personal Sanity,

R.e. Mayes

Christmas Break

I'm currently on Christmas break. I haven't done a whole lot, but I have done some.

I started out my break going to a surprise birthday party for a friend of mine. We stayed up until almost 4 in the morning watching Beauty and the Beast.

A few days later, I went to my friend's early birthday party. Just for kicks, we did goth-girl makeovers and made grilled cheese sandwiches at 2 in the morning. We also went sledding. My second time down the hill I ran into a fence and hurt my backside. Ouch.

On Christmas Eve, we finally had a living room to put our tree up in, so we put it up and went to the Christmas Eve service at church, despite rain. (Yes, we did have rain on Christmas Eve. Which was lame.)

We also had rain on Christmas as well, although that turned into snow in time for us to watch White Christmas later that night. (Which is good, because watching White Christmas when it's not snowing is even lamer than rain on Christmas Eve.)

My grandparents came the day after Christmas, and my mom and my grandma and I went shopping yesterday. Needless to say, we did a considerable bit of economic stimulation. :)

On Thursday night, I'll be going to the annual youth group all-nighter, which will include laser tagging, Wii tournaments, and possibly sledding.
I'll try to put pictures on when I can figure out how to.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving always gets a little overlooked, in my opinion. It's right in between Halloween and Christmas, and it has no distinctive music or decor (except maybe cornucopias). And, when most people do think about Thanksgiving, it's usually about turkey, pumpkin pie, or football, if you're a guy, when, in actuality, Thanksgiving is, as its name suggests, a time to give thanks.
Here are a few things I'm thankful for.

1. Salvation
2. A loving family
3. A house (not much of one right now, thanks to our renovations)
4. Good health
5. Strange but wonderful friends
6. Teachers who actually care about their students (or are very good at faking it) :)
7. God's sovereignty
8. Fuzzy socks
9. Books
10. Ice cream!

More Quotes

Here's another round of quotes.

Never tell me the odds.-Han Solo
Not all who wander are lost.-J.R.R Tolkien
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.-Jerry Seinfeld
Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.-Mark Knopfler
Wherever you are, be all there.-Jim Elliot
Death is the surest solution to all problems-no man, no problem.-Joseph Stalin
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.-Calvin
Say something wise and philosophical and your name will be remembered forever.-Unknown
I don't want to be alone, I want to be left alone.-Audrey Hepburn
Don't burden yourself with the secrets of scary people.-This guy in a Batman movie
It's innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn't.-Mignon McLaughlin

If you find any funny/profound quotes, send them to me.

Book Reports

Once again, I am being forced to write a book report for school. Two things wrong with that.
1. I not only have to find a book that's decent enough to do a book report on, but I also have to find one that I've never read before.
2. When I do manage to find a book, I will have to read it and then give an unbiased report on it.

Both of which will be difficult to achieve. First off, it's pretty much an extreme sport to actually FIND a decent piece of young adult literature, and then to get it approved should probably become a part of the Olympics.
The reading itself, while normally (for me) is simple, is usually complicated when, halfway through the book, I realize that I really, really, really hate the book. And it's not very easy to write a good book report encouraging fellow students to read the book to find out what happens next if you yourself did not actually care what happened next when you read it.
And slamming the book isn't really an option either, because teachers don't let you say what you actually thought about the book, unless you loved it. Which (in my experience) doesn't happen often.
So, if any of you have any good ideas for future book report books that won't put me to sleep but will be deemed appropriate, I'd like to hear them. Really.

The Frog Prince

Well, I've begun work on my sixth Princess Tale: The Frog Prince. Princess Arabella is an animal-loving, free-spirited girl whose parents suddenly arrange a marriage with Prince Alfonso, one of the sons of the ruler of a bordering country. Here's an excerpt from the story when she first meets Alfonso.

Beyond this door was the man who, whether I liked it or not, was going to be my husband. The man who was going to rule my country. The man whose face I would wake up to for the rest of my life. The man who was going to-gulp-father my children.
I took a deep breath, wishing that my maid hadn't tightened my corset so much, and turned the knob. Then I stepped through the doorway.
And that's when I first saw him. He was hideous. His hair was pale reddish-blonde, and he had luminescent green eyes that were so big that they made him look like a disturbed frog. His nose (also too large) was bright pink, and his gangly limbs looked too big for his body.
The fragile soap bubble of hope I'd had burst. There was no way in the whole world I would ever be able to marry him. Ever.

Back to School

Tomorrow is our first day of school. Here's a poem on "Back to School." Which is entirely true. (Not that I engage in any such behavior as described, of course.)

Back to School

Nobody's paying attention.
None of the homework's been done.
The teacher's exhausted and wondering
How she'll cope until recess at one.

We're napping on piles of our notebooks,
Paper airplanes and spitballs are flying.
No one remembers their grammar,
And the teacher groans like she's dying.

The boys are all running 'round rampant.
They're breaking every school rule.
Have we made it clear enough yet
That we don't want to come back to school?
-R.e. Mayes

Letter to Daddy

Letter to Daddy

Dear Daddy,
Daddy, I'm sorry.
You taught me to do right.
You told me, "Never drink and drive."
But I did just that last night.

Daddy, I'm really sorry.
I partied and got high.
I know, I know I should have refused
When my friends asked me to drive.

I'm so, so sorry, Daddy.
I thought it was all just a game.
And, playing it, I crashed the car,
And I'll take all the blame.

I'm really sorry, Daddy,
Please forgive my dumb mistake.
It's all my fault, I know that.
I caused all your heartbreak.

I've learned my lesson, Daddy:
Don't EVER drink and drive.
Maybe if I'd listened
I might still be alive.
--R.e. Mayes

Don't worry, this isn't autobiograpical.

P.s. Yes, you can cry.

August: A Blessing, or a Curse?

It's August. I've always liked August: my birthday's in August, it's when the weather is hottest (which means trips to the pool-always fun), and we're usually on vacation the first few weeks of August. (Also always fun.) But it's also bad, in a way, because school starts (not fun.) :p And, after vacation, there's not a whole lot to do. Here's a poem about summer.

The end of homework and of school.
The beginning of family trips to the pool.
No more boring old school days.
Instead, I sit around and laze.
But...
My friends are gone on different trips.
My melting ice cream drips and drips.
The only thing to do at home
Is sleep, or maybe write a poem.

--R.e. Mayes

P.S. Does anyone else out there have an August 22 birthday???

Pictures from vacation out west

The sunset on the way to CO

Pike's Peak, as viewed from the road

Somewhere over the rainbow...

(Come on, sing with me!)

Our family reunion

Pretty waterfall...

Me standing by the "America the Beautiful" monument at the summit of Pike's Peak

Me, my brothers, and the donuts

The Pike's Peak Weather Station

The view from the summit

The road for the people who like having REALLY high blood pressure

One of the Cog trains.

A tree on the side of Pike's Peak